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| Christel | Debbie | Heidi | Zelka | ||||
Heidi |
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“You have breast cancer” not the news I expected to receive at the age of 34.
My annual mammogram was scheduled for August 2008. I had no lumps, bumps, pain, discomfort or discharge. I was a natural health follower, with no family history of breast cancer. My mammogram showed slight duct ectasia (hardening of the ducts), and a core biopsy came back negative, but my mammographer still showing some concern, sent me to the breast care specialists at Milpark.
On 23 September last year I was diagnosed with DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ, stage 1, invasive cancer, less than 1cm in size), in my left breast. The hormone status of my cancer cells was minimally oestrogen receptor positive (progesterone negative and Her2 negative); it had not spread to my lymph glands.
The unconditional support from my family and friends has been vital; yet my empowerment lies largely from exploring possible emotional causes for my cancer; surrendering to this dis-ease and making informed choices. Simply put, these cancer cells did not belong in my body, and my double mastectomy and first stage of reconstruction (insertion of saline tissue expanders) was scheduled for 30 October 2008…3 weeks before my 35th Birthday. As a gift to myself, and in preparation for chemo, the day before my Birthday I sacrificed my long blonde locks.
My 3 months of preventative chemotherapy (Taxotere and Cyclophosphamide) began in December, with hair loss starting 15 days after my 1st treatment. It made sense, and was far less traumatic to just shave it all off. Whilst losing my boobs, my hair, and my life as I knew it in the space of 3 short months, I embraced the multiple transformations that no one warns you about; I made it work for me instead of against me. Bald is beautiful! February 2009 saw my 4th and final chemo, and for now I have chosen quality of life over quantity, as I have opted to not pursue further hormone / ovarian ablation treatment.
April 2009 was the 2nd stage of my reconstruction (removal of tissue expanders and insertion of the silicone implants). My final stage of surgery (nipple reconstruction and final shaping) will be scheduled for sometime in December or January – like my reconstructive surgeon says “this is more of a social event, where we turn blobs into boobs”, it can be done at any stage, when I’m ready to go under the knife again.
This Journey is fraught with challenges…emotional, physical and spiritual (albeit far easier for the patient than it is for their loved ones); it requires a tremendous amount of energy to stay positive. Cancer has challenged my femininity on all levels, and it has taught me unconditional compassion. I have allowed myself to be broken open by this experience and in the rawness of this vulnerability lies a beauty and understanding of Self that reaches far beyond anything I could ever have imagined. Cancer boldly points out who your support system is; and the mundane trivialities and superficialities of life seem never to have existed. The reality remains that there is no going back to what was; I have a second chance at Life, with the greatest challenge thus far being the integration back into dominant society who have not walked this path.
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